Could it be? Have we found our calling?
It’s safe to say that Shady hasn’t shown an enormous amount of aptitude in any discipline to date.
Dressage is a bit scary (random letters in a rectangle really hurt his feelings) and jumping coloured poles is just too confronting.
Trail riding? Well it’s a bit too unpredictable and I pity the person that ever tries to put him in a cart.
However, as it turns out, he might have potential as a show horse because he’s truly excellent at standing still.
Today he showed enormous talent as he patiently stood for hours getting plaited, pampered, primped and preened.
It’s been a while between shows for me (circa 1996 was my prime ribbon collecting era) but according to my research, at least two classes tomorrow have a standing still component and I’m feeling quietly confident.
I have TWO hairnets, a pair of pale, unforgiving pants, a scrunchie and two shiny boots ready to roll tomorrow morning.
I might even don a pair of pearl earrings 🤷♀️
Look out world, that expensive private school decorum is about to pay dividends…
Now, not even Nicole Kidman is brave enough to pre-empt her acceptance speech – but just in case I get whisked off to the World Show Horse Championships I’d like to thank my new friends for doing ALL THE THINGS while I perfected my own standing still skills 💅
For those watching at home, stand by for updates tomorrow.. whence I shall duly report in an eggish helmet and those clingy pale pants we all love so much
If you’re keen to see how it all unfolded you can read Part 2 here.